fake it ’til you make it

I hate hate hate that phrase. Hate.

If something is eating away at you, do you really think that ignoring it is an effective solution? Do you actually believe that this is a healthy response to discontent?

Should I have just “faked it ’til I made it” when I started having problems? Ignored all the signals that something was going wrong because to acknowledge it would make me, what exactly, weak? Imperfect? What?

What is it about our culture that makes admitting distress or difficulty such a taboo? We have been trained through our lives to believe that everyone is fine, always. Did our parents ever tell us , “Yes, I suffer from clinical depression. Here is how I cope with it.” or “Yes, my time in the army left me struggling with PTSD.” or “I struggled with an eating disorder as a teenager.” or or or…. No. They didn’t and now we don’t.

I’m not saying we should tell our children the nitty-gritty details of our intimate emotional struggles. We should just make them aware that all humans struggle on some level through portions of their lives. This is not shameful. This is not wrong.

It is painful and exhausting and damned hard, but it leaves you stronger. Speaking openly about what you’re experiencing may help another person. Hell, it’ll probably help you. It will definitely help your children.

I refuse to “fake it ’til I make it”. I embrace my struggles and share them with anyone who wants to listen.

I keep my fingers crossed that others will do the same. I’d love to learn from them.



About Beckie

I am a mother, wife, and doula trying to find more joy in life by having less.
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One Response to fake it ’til you make it

  1. Alan says:

    I think in the beginning stages of dealing with something this attitude isn’t helpful at all. But when you’ve been harping on something, or feeling bad about yourself for something for such a long time that you feel like you can’t function anymore, and don’t even have the energy to talk to people, faking it helps a great deal. Just forcing myself out into a situation that you know you usually react positively to and hoping for the best is sometimes the best that I can do to get me out of a funkk.

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